Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's Friday. Sex?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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