She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
