I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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