so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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