Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize