went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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