what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
