oh god the rape fog is back!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
