Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
