Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
