Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize