hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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