STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
