I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
