I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
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