The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
