thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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