I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
