Michael Bay diarrhea
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
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