God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
