im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
