I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
