I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I use my feet as sexual weapons
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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