i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
