I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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