For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
