she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
