I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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