I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
