Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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