cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
