She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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