The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
