bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
