Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
