"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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