hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
