You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
