It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize