I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
