Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
