at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
