Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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