Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
