I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i will never coherently bang her
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
