This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
