If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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