Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
