Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
