Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
