i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
