You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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