I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
