had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
