I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
