I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
