try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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