Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?

(810): View more from Michigan

humiliate her

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(408): View more from California

I think I just got seasick

(409): View more from Texas

you're not on a boat

(408): View more from California

he has a waterbed.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu

(781): View more from Massachusetts

So you're taking me there this weekend?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high

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(207): View more from Maine

I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7

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(770): View more from Georgia

All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck

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(208): View more from Idaho

Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins

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