and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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