He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
