I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
