I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
