Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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