I didn't shave. On purpose
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
