woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
