Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
