Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
