haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize